apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
