God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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