first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
