i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
