Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
