So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
