I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
