you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
