I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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