first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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