i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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