I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize