the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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