Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
