I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize