Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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