fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She announced her abortion via fbk
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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