dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
