I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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