Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
