Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
