She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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