So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize