Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
