I want to have your abortion
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Found the puke drawer
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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