I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
