I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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