just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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