Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
