just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
