love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
