I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
