Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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