I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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