I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
