i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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