I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We are two peas in an std pod
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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