He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Nicole vs. Life
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
