Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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