operation harelip BJ is a go
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
