I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
