Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize