I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
All I want is dick and wine.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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