Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
