One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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