Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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