Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
