I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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