You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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