you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
