You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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