Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?