Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
