I just cut my nipple shaving
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?