We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My first love was gay too, it's okay.