yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
