im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
