who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize