It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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