I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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