Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
