stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
