windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
a search helicopter?!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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