she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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